Philosopher Dan Dennett has some interesting thoughts on what makes things cute, sexy, sweet, and funny. The book on “What is Funny?” is something to look forward too. I have never really thought about it this way before, but it is quite simple, “Things are sweet because we like it, not, ‘We like it because it is sweet.’” Make sense? Just watch…
A parenting tragedy if I ever heard of one. I read this while holding my sleeping 10 month-old daughter… Warning! Do not read if emotional
Before he got on the train, little Alexandra looked up and asked, “Daddy, will you bring me a cane?” Bucky [Fuller’s nickname] promised he would bring back the souvenir as he set off for an enjoyable day of football and friends.
Harvard won that day, and Bucky spent most of his time lost in drink, camaraderie, and parties, forgetting his troubles as well as his family on Long Island. When he arrived in Pennsylvania Station in New York the following afternoon, Bucky telephoned Anne [his wife] who could barely speak. She told him that Alexandra had suffered a relapse and was in a coma. Stunned, Bucky caught the next train to Long Island. Arriving home, he found Alexandra still unconscious and a doctor doing all he could to save her life.
Bucky could only sit near her bed looking on helplessly as the doctors and nurses continued their work well into the night. Eventually, the situation calmed down, but Alexandra’s condition did not improve. Then, in the early hours before dawn, she opened her eyes and smiled up at Bucky. As he bent close to his daughter, Bucky heard her tiny voice ask, “Daddy, did you bring me my cane?”
Fuller could only turn away in shame and agony. In the furor of drinking and celebrating, he had forgotten his daughter’s simple request. Following her question, Alexandra closed her eyes for the last time and died in her father’s arms a few hours later. Bucky never forgave himself for that incident, which, even in the last years of his life, would bring tears of remorse to his eyes.
I know it is anecdotal at best, but based on personal experience, I believe this 100%. Not only does it make me instantly crave a drink on many occasions, what I crave depends on what the actor or actress is drinking. Last evening was a perfect example. My wife and I were watching Becoming Janewhen the male lead sat in a pub with a mug of beer. My taste buds instantly lit up. If it wasn’t for the Strawberry Nestle Quick I had just downed, I may have given in to temptation.
If you find yourself craving a beer next time you’re watching someone do the same on your TV, you won’t be alone.
Two studies suggest that people drink more when viewing drinking behaviour in films and advertisements. The results strengthen calls for tighter regulations on how and when alcohol is portrayed in movies and commercials.
"Although we do not argue for banning alcohol portrayals in movies, it might be an idea to explicitly warn people, especially parents, that movies contain such scenes, and that these affect drinking directly," says lead researcher, Rutger Engels of Radboud University in Nijmegen, the Netherlands.
This is an excerpt from a letter to the editor I wrote to a local newspaper called Call Newspapers after the inauguration of Barack Obama. Click here, or on the link below to read it in its entirety.
My 6-year old son Joey and I were at the inauguration of President Barack Obama in Washington, D.C. Actually, that is only half true. The truth is we were on the D.C. Metro rail heading back to the parking lot about 20 miles south of D.C. when Obama was sworn in. As many have heard by now, various logistical failures on that 5-degree-wind-chill morning prevented many ticket-holders from witnessing the event firsthand. As I rode back with Joey in my arms, I was most disappointed about him not witnessing something he likely would have told stories about for the rest of his life. It made me sad.
I wonder how many diseases and other medical problems are caused by weakened immune systems due to mouth infections related to poor oral hygiene. Anybody?
Discovery Channel - Jan. 13, 2009 — Previously undiscovered bacteria usually found in the mouth could be responsible for up to 80 percent of early preterm labors, estimate doctors from Case Western and Yale Universities in a new study published recently in the Journal of Clinical Microbiology.
The research could help doctors prevent preterm births by encouraging oral hygiene or stop early labor from developing by prescribing targeted antibiotics.
“The earlier the woman goes into preterm labor, the higher the chance that she will be infected,” said Yiping Han, a doctor at Case Western University and the first author on the study.
I don’t care what you say, this Barbi nail printer is going to make Mattel a fortune! (not a stock endorsement :) I might even design my nails once or twice with it just out of pure curiousity… Parents, start saving now before it is too late!
I can think of at least three birthdays that should be celebrated in schools (K-12) across the country on an annual basis. Sir Isaac Newton, Benjamin Franklin, and Albert Einstein. I am sure there are more, but it would blunt the effect to have too many.
To qualify for school birthday celebrations, there should be at least four criteria:
1. The person verifiably existed beyond all reasonable doubt.
2. They made at least one contribution to humanity that has withstood the test of time.
3. They must portray the value of “obtainable intelligence.” That knowledge is an essential part of any value system.
4. Textbooks should already thoroughly cover their acheivements.
The purpose of the birthday celebrations should be more than just eating cupcakes. Age appropriate curriculum should be built around the events to humanize the men or women behind their accomplishments, accentuating that they achieved what they did through hard work and persistence, not just brute intelligence.
Perhaps the over-riding goal should be to show that everyone, barring some type of disability, has the ability to be knowledgable, and even with most disabilities, children and adults alike can almost always learn more than they already know. (It would be a great way to introduce Carol Dweck’s work at Stanford into school curriculum.)
For instance, I always tell my sons, “Smart is not what you know, it is what you learn and how hard you try.”
I have been told many times in my life that I am a dork, but I think I have finally proven it. I sat here and watched Mythbusters Co-Host Adam Savage talk for almost sixteen minutes about his obsession with sculpting an exact replica of the Maltese Falcon. I really didn’t even know what it was about or why I was watching, but when it was finished, I was happy I did.
So, hold that thought for a moment and consider this other piece of dork-hood.
The day after Christmas, I read ‘The Giving Tree‘ by Shel Silverstein to my sons, which I was not previously familiar with. In fact, when I bought the book, I thought it was another compilation of poetry. It was a memorable moment in the sense that we really did not sit down to read it. Instead, both of my youngest sons were running about the house playing with their new Christmas toys, and I just stood and spontaneously began to read the story out loud. I became so engrossed in the story and its beautiful simplicity, that either my kids thought I was finally losing my mind, or they were as inspired as I was, stopping in their tracks and giving ‘The Giving Tree’ their full attention.
I could not help but think that this was exactly the type of emotion Silverstein hoped to pull from his readers - and here we were, the anonymous family from St. Louis, nine years after his death, having a memorable moment because of his storytelling genius. My wife, who was apparently listening while putting on her makeup in the bathroom, came out wiping tears from her eyes, and said, “That was sad.” She then turned back around to go and fix the mascara job that Silverstein had just wrecked.
Later that day, we were at my father-in-law’s house and I was telling him the story of our memorable moment from the morning and he said, “I have that book!” Sure enough, within a few seconds, he had pulled it from his library in the den and began to pass it around the room for others to read, and it became a good memory for even more of us.
A little later, my father-in-law grabbed yet another Silverstein book, titled, ‘The Missing Piece.’ Being a big fan of Silverstein’s poetry as a child, and now as a father, I was pleasantly surprised that I was going to read two of his books that only hours before I did not even know existed. He whispered, “Here. This one is just as good, but a little weirder.”
So, I read it and liked it, but I did not really understand it. The story was about an almost complete circle that had a missing piece, which it searches for and later finds. (I hope I didn’t ruin it for you.) But, the story ends without the circle being very happy with its newly found piece, and the two parts eventually go on their own way.
To many, the moral of the story was really pretty obvious, but it was not so for me…at least, not until I saw the following, seemingly unrelated, video lecture from Adam Savage: (If you plan on watching the video, now is the time to do it before reading further.)
The point that Adam Savage makes in the story about his journey to develop an exact replica of the Maltese Falcon was that in the end, it was not about the end product all, but the journey that he would take to get him there. It was the journey that contained all of the fun, as was the case for Silverstein’s circle with a missing piece. It turned out for the circle that it was not finding the missing piece that brought it the most joy. It was simply the journey, or the many experiences it had along the way that brought it the most happiness.
But that is not the end of this story, because it was not until the circle found its missing piece that it realized what really made it happy was playing with the butterflies and rolling in the tall grass. Fortunately, for the circle, it had realized early enough in its ‘existence’ that it still had time to go back out and experience more of what really made it happy before it was too late.
Of course, if the circle did not have the goal of finding its missing piece to begin with, and if Adam Savage did not have the goal of replicating the Maltese Falcon, they would not have had the journey that helped them identify the source of their happiness to begin with. So, perhaps the real moral to the two stories should be that while it is not the attainment of goals that ultimately leads to happiness, the journey would not happen without them. Or, at the very least, knowing that in the end, all that is left of us is our legacy, or our journey, we should spend more time evaluating our goals in life with the an emphasis on the journey that we will take to get there.
And finally, in the case of Shel Silverstein and his gift of ‘The Giving Tree,’ we know that some journeys never end at all. As long as there are new people to read and listen to ‘The Giving Tree’ for the first time, Silverstein’s various adventures, cunning insights, and quest for meaning will continue to stand the test of time.
This Johns Hopkins School of Public Health study shows that not only are ‘Virginity (abstinence) pledges’ ineffective, but they also lead to substantially lower usage of condoms and other forms of birth control. Other studies have shown that ‘abstinence only’ programs in schools have been ineffective and pointless over the long term.
The obvious medical problem is that with the lack of use of condoms and other forms of birth control, teens are at higher risk for pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. (And according to the Population Council, abortion rates increase with the non-usage condoms and other forms of birth control.)
The new analysis of data from a large federal survey found that more than half of youths became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they had taken a “virginity pledge,” but that the percentage who took precautions against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases was 10 points lower for pledgers than for non-pledgers.
“Taking a pledge doesn’t seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior,” said Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, whose report appears in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics. “But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking.”
Actually, I’m lying, I lie to my sons all of the time, and I presume that I will lie to my daughter when she is old enough to understand what I am saying. It’s the Santa Claus conundrum that is causing me this angst. Here is the reason why:
My number one goal as a parent has always been three-fold:
Create an environment for my children to grow up where they feel relatively safe.
Provide opportunities for my children to build their self-esteem.
Build a relationship with each of my children based on trust.
As you can see, it is number three that is challenged by the Santa Claus tradition. In every other case I can think of, I tell my children the truth, and when they ask me difficult questions, I usually do not beat around the bush with the answer; however, I will try and soften the blow with a euphemism or two when one is available. (There is the other death/religion thing that has come up several times already, but I just take the safe route with heaven and God and spirits and all of those chestnuts. Perhaps that is another topic for another day. Unlike Santa Claus, if there is a “final disappointment,” [see “Is That All There Is” by Peggy Lee] they won’t know it. )
…It is amazing how difficult this actually is for me. I am not sure why I have such a hard time lying to them (other than that I tend to over-analyze some things,) but I think I might be on to something.
The problem with Santa Claus is that at some point, my children, one by one, will get to an undetermined point in their young lives when they will discover that he does not exist.
There are several movies that have addressed this issue over time. The most popular being ‘The Miracle on 34th Street.’ Of course, Hollywood being what it is, Santa Claus turns out to be real and stumbles across the one girl in New York whose mother does not want her to believe such nonsense, so that movie is no help.
There are also famous scenes in movies like this one from Shirley Temple’s ‘Bright Eyes’ where the bratty rich girl pontificates that her psychoanalyst told her that there is no Santa Claus.
So, what is a parent who values truth, logic, AND imagination to do?
I posed that question last year at a Rotary Christmas party to some people who also had children. I was just throwing it out there for some fun, post-eggnog discussion, but everyone looked at me like I had three eyes. One person said, “Why do you think of such things, Karl?” Another said, “Have you ever tried just to ask them what they think?” (I am not sure they were going with that one.)
The next day, I searched the internet and found the following article titled, ‘The Delicate Matter of the Truth of Santa.’ You can read it yourself, but the following excerpt calmed my worries a bit:
“Forcing an elaborate Santa Claus story on children serves no good purpose for child or parent,” he said. “On the other hand, following the child’s lead in fantasy play about Santa Claus is likely to do no more harm than imaginative play surrounding Elmo or Mickey Mouse. Parents can respond to direct questions honestly with answers appropriate to their children’s developmental levels.”
I had originally posted this on another blog of mine back in January, but since it is one of my favorite education/parenting articles, I thought I would share it with Daddy Hogwash readers as well.
Scientific American: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids The Secret to Raising Smart Kids Hint: Dont tell your kids that they are. More than three decades of research shows that a focus on effort—not on intelligence or ability—is key to success in school and in life
By Carol S. Dweck
A brilliant student, Jonathan sailed through grade school. He completed his assignments easily and routinely earned As. Jonathan puzzled over why some of his classmates struggled, and his parents told him he had a special gift. In the seventh grade, however, Jonathan suddenly lost interest in school, refusing to do homework or study for tests. As a consequence, his grades plummeted. His parents tried to boost their son’s confidence by assuring him that he was very smart. But their attempts failed to motivate Jonathan who is a composite drawn from several children. Schoolwork, their son maintained, was boring and pointless. Click here to read the rest of this article by Carol Dweck…
This is gross. How pathetic can these people be? Knowing the abuse these children will receive because of their parents should be grounds for Child Endangerment.
I have to ask though, who puts their child’s middle name on a birthday cake?
If someone said I can give you a cheap laugh for $1, would you take the offer? Everyone needs a cheap laugh every now and then, right? Well here is your chance. Rent “Meet Dave.” I am not going to lie, I loved it. It wasn’t deep. It wasn’t thoughtful. I didn’t experience an epiphany of any sort. However, I did bust my gut a couple of times, and my kids fell off the couch once.
Of course, I checked Rotten Tomatoes, and low and behold, it has a 19% rating. They basically tore the movie up with an, “Easy gags and slack direction drag this occasionally clever alien-out-of-planet comedy down to unimaginative lows.” They hated it. So, I don’t want you to go to Blockbuster and spend $4 to rent this movie, but when you are bored and need a good stupid belly laugh, head to a Redbox for a $1 or add it to your Netflix queue for a time when you just need a cheap laugh.
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I can think of at least three birthdays that should be celebrated in schools (K-12) across the country on an annual basis. Sir ![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=5213efa1-de3e-471f-9da9-5889e9b26607)
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This is gross. How pathetic can these people be? Knowing the abuse these children will receive because of their parents should be grounds for ![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=a868094f-f27e-448e-b884-2ebbe52c64cb)
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If someone said I can give you a cheap laugh for $1, would you take the offer? Everyone needs a cheap laugh every now and then, right? Well here is your chance. Rent “![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=df85648f-a4e9-47bc-82f6-4a6ea4d965af)
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