“Vince Fumo: In search of Superman”

By: Joe Arentz, PA Taxpayer

Vince Fumo Knows how to live the Miller High Life.

Vince Fumo took greed and eccentricity to daunting new heights. Fumo, a recent former part of the Pennsylvania State Senate, was just freshly charged with all 137 counts of corruption against him, as reported by the Philadelphia Inquirer. Today, using public funds for private benefit isn’t a groundbreaking crime, but Fumo brought us a true comic book like approach to white collar crimes.

This guy not only bought clothes and (several) homes, but bought the same clothing to be placed in his scattered estates. Also, each home had to come standard with an Oreck vacuum. You’re preparing for something big when your making headquarters like that, and by the way, he bought some 300 or so guns? Also, for some odd reason, he felt it was necessary to purchase and keep several copies of the same book. I’m guessing that explained the high sales of Twilight.

This guy was a social Lex Luthor. He had an elaborate yacht, which I will dub “The Superboat”. Fumo loved to take exotic trips on his Superboat with his lady fare. With the Superboat as the final piece, the puzzle was solved: he was hunting for something powerful, maybe Superman himself. You’re going to need all the Oreck vacuums you can find if you want to take down the “Man of Steel”.If the Superboat didn’t dispense Fumo’s (publicly) paid goons on Wave Runners, Fumo definitely had his Kryptonite, “credit cards from a South Philadelphia nonprofit he controlled.”

This guy is looking at jail time, yet how ironic that he’s  living off the public dollar, still. Now that is villainous! Judge Joe’s sentence: throw him to his own “Better Neighborhoods” in Philadelphia with not a penny. Let him live in a city that accrued 332 murders in 2008 with no job and an awful credit rating.

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